i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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