no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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