good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
