okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
