ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
