pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
