After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
