Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
