you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
