I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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