No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
