theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
