we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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