Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
