Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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