For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When did we convert life to cartoon?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
