i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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