i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize