Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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