he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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