sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize