What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
