a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
