i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
