i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize