I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
