butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
