It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
