Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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