thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
