you would pick up someone in the library
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
