doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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