I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
