sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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