I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
