I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
only you would photoshop your dick
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
