butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
