i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Damn victory sex feels great
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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