True but thats because hes a fetus.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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