my phone needs a breathalizer
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
