when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
