so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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