So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
