She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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