Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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