Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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