Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
