That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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