don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
