addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
