Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it hurts more in the daytime
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize