I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
