Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I understand Curling. That high.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
