Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize