physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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