i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
