Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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