finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
