It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize